she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
