Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Randomize
