so that wasnt chicken after all
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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