The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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