Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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