My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
