I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
i now understand why vodka
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
