i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
