just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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