my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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