i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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