pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
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