his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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