I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Sext me about skeletons
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