Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
