He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
