batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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