I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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