Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
