So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I'm both gender and math confused
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
