I love watching others lives come down to our level.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
