And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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