But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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