If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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