one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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