im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
My breasts were aching with rage.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
