Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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