I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
