I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize