he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
