3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
