You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
