we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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