Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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