just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
