I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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