Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
