Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
