We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
