At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
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