she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
