East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
