Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
