Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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