All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
