Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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