Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
