...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
