lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I believe in your delicious
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
