hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
420 ftw
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
